This year started out with the whole family getting very sick. We were sick about the whole of January. It was not an auspicious start to our year by any means. Ever since then it seems like we have been fighting illness after illness all year long.
Honestly, I’m not sure if whether this is perception or reality. Maybe it is just because there are four of us now so the rotation of illnesses just take longer. Or maybe we really have been sick more often this year.
We have been in the midst of it again now, basically since Ryan started preschool in September some configuration of the family has been sick. It took Ryan one day of preschool to come back home with a fever and today we just picked up antibiotics to fight off an ear infection. He’s not been sick the whole time, but he keeps picking something back up regularly. Anastasia has been sick off and on as well. Thankfully Kristen and I have been healthier, but still we came down with it for a week or so in September.
While we have been able to fend things off, trying to deal with one or two sick kids constantly wears down our energy. You try to keep regular schedules and making sure people get to work, school, and church, but inevitably something always falls to the wayside. Sadly this is usually church. I think by the time a full week has gone by we just lack the energy at that point to pack up and try to keep two kids (sick or not) happy throughout the whole experience.
However, that isn’t the only sickness I feel that we’ve been dealing with this year. The church we started attending has had some rocky times since we’ve started there. I don’t really know the full extent of everything that is going on there, I mean we’ve only been going for a little over a year and a half or so. However, it also feels like one more thing wanting energy and needing to be taken care of. Another sick child that needs taken care of, although one I feel I have even less idea of how to help recover than the ones I take care of during the week.
Don’t get me wrong it’s not that I completely dislike the church we’re going to. It just feels like it is another area that is touched with a sickness. Coming off of the church we attended, and loved, up in Massachusetts that underwent a couple shake-ups it is easy to feel weary. It makes you feel that a church that is in good health doesn’t exist. That sickness has touched all and there is no escape. That you have to try to live life as best as you can with this constant sickness hanging around.
We also have been feeling the sickness of loneliness that I know I’ve talked about here before. We at least have family around, but even those have been altered by unexpected health issues. Even then though family is often different than having other friends with common interests and interest in you. We just feel that we have yet to really make much of any connections to the area around us and of course being sick as much as it has seemed like we have been hasn’t helped. Our church having it’s issues and being a good distance from where we live hasn’t helped either.
Now I understand this is a rather negative post. It’s not that we have given up hope. It just feels that all of life is just mired in a sickness. It is the actual colds and flues that the the kids, Kristen, and I have picked up over the year. The relational and maybe even spiritual sickness of the church we’re part of and the relational sickness that Kristen and I feel. We are just longing for the time of sickness to pass and a time of at least relative health to present itself.
Life will never be completely perfect we know that, but sometimes it feels like we’re limping along. Not to say we don’t have good times as a family in the midst of it, but it always carries a weight. Maybe this is a weight that everyone carries. I don’t know, but I certainly know that we have been. It just feels that this year has been a rough year in a number of ways, but we are looking forward to when at least some of this sickness dissipates and we’re able to feel like we have more health and energy again.
Also just coming off of my last post on Genesis 12, it is reassuring to see a God who is able to bring the barren to life. If that is the case, I trust that God can bring life and vitality into sickness. Who knows when it will come and if it will come fully in the way we envision, but I do trust that it will come. The sickness will not always seem as great as it does to us now.