One of my friends put this question up on Facebook awhile ago. It’s a question that I’ve heard before and never really had it affect me before. This time though the question has attached to me. It may leave my thoughts for a bit, but it always returns. What would I do if money wasn’t an issue? The troubling answer is I don’t have any clue.
Sure you could answer the question like it’s about having limitless money. I’m pretty sure this wasn’t the intention of the question. It wasn’t play make believe with imaginary money. It was deeper than that, it was about not letting fear stop you from chasing your passions and dreams. It sounds like a question that I should have an answer for.
Yet it is a question I don’t have a firm answer for. Even a few years ago I would have answered that it was becoming a pastor. After all I spent 6 1/2 years of my education with that goal in mind. However, for a number of reasons that answer doesn’t come as fast as it once did. It is still probably the best idea that I have, but it is also an answer that I have a fair number of reservations about. So while it is a potential answer, it doesn’t feel like the answer to this question.
The problem is I don’t really have any other good potential answers. Right now I stay home with our kids, but I’ll be honest this isn’t necessarily what I have envisioned for long term. I think it is important for one of us to be home with our kids, but at the same time I feel like I want more than just being a stay-at-home father. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a knock on those who do stay at home, but more that I want to be able to use my gifts and education beyond staying at home with my kids. The way this looks may be that I stay home with my kids more than I do something else, it is just the desire to be able to do something else in addition.
Of course, that gets me back to the problem with my question. I just don’t know what I want to do. My faith is very important to me and I love thinking about and discussing issues of the faith, church, and culture so I can’t imagine that what I would like to do wouldn’t have something to do with this, but I’m just not certain if it will look like being a pastor. If it doesn’t I’m not sure what it will look like.
I’ve been enjoying writing this blog, but I’ll be honest, I don’t think my blog will ever take off or be super popular. Maybe I’ll be proven wrong with time, but to be honest I have mixed feelings about it being popular too. This is a place to work out my own thoughts more than it is thinking that others want to or need to know what I think about an issue, a book, or whatever else.
I wouldn’t be against writing a book at some point in my life, but I’ve got reservations about that too. I’m not sure what I would want to write about, I don’t want to just write a book so I can say I’ve been published, and well I guess I feel that I need to live a bit more to really have something worth writing about. It could simply be that these reservations are excuses, but I’m not losing sleep on that.
In all this I can’t figure out if I just lack passion or I lack the imagination and insight to transform my passions into something tangible. I’m not entirely sure, and maybe I’m not supposed to know the answer right now. That’s a frustrating proposition, but maybe the answer will come in time. Honestly, it seems like I’m thinking more about this question than was intended, but I guess I can’t help it. I don’t have a good answer to that question. Do you? What passion would you follow if money was an issue? I’m not sure I know, but do you?